Odds & Sods

Oh Yes! Eleanor loved to read good stories!

A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctors appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding.
She looks at her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "He said he stopped you for speeding."
The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say?
The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license."
The women hands the officer her license and he sees that she is from his old home town. The officer tells the couple that he remembered the town because he had the worst sexual experience of his life there.
The women looks at her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "He says he knows you."

Asked by a bartender in a Bar Harbor Brew Pub what exactly I really do. I was in the place with a publisher from New York, New York. I said I was a Minister. She's like taken aback, she pointed at me and said . . . "You, You, You're a minister?" as if that explains every scandal that ever blew up in faith communities-right. But I straightened her out by pointing out that I have dedicated my life to being the Minister of Fun, someone has to do it in this go get 'em society we call America-right? Anyways, as I said, I don't suppose I'd ever wanna be a part of any faith community that would have me be there Minister. I've paid my dues, I took one for the employees of a school district, stood up for my rights and was boned by a jury, but hey, at least I tried and last but not least, I said no to a Pervert!